The World Just Outside

May 25th and I've been back in Norway for just over a fortnight now, This day we were treated to an especially different sight when we looked out of the window. The World! well obviously we can see the world but I'm talking about the boat called the World

I have been following this boat for over a year now as it is a dream of mine to own an apartment on board. The boat commissioned in 2002 is the first residential cruise liner in the world. Instead of cabins it has apartments, ranging from 1 bed studios to 5 bed penthouses. Residents can come and go as they please or just live on there forever in their own apartments.

Prices start around £1M for a studio and up to £13M for a larger place

Then there are the running fees or £20K per month for the fuel, food and Crew

As you would imagine, it has all of the amenities on board, pool, spar, golf course!

Maid service so no cleaning to do

And each year the resinents get together and plan its route for the following year, so far its been around the world every year stopping at some of the most famous ports and also some of the not so famous places.... Like Ulvik

I felt quite privalaged to see he up close and personal, and parked right outside my front door too, She will however remain a pipe dream of mine, I don't even buy lottery tickets!

It transpires that Michael Schumacher has a place on board but has never used it!... Hey Michael?

Phileas Fogg - Pah

So I've been traveling for a while now.... now there is an understatement if ever I heard one!

My ship was due to set sail and 03:00 on Wednesday 8th May bound first for Sweden and then on to Norway for my 3rd summer in Ulvik. The usual route, Immingham on the east coast of Britain across to Gothenburg, unload a few containers and then up to Brevik slightly south west of Oslo on the south coast of Norway.

The trip normally takes 41 Hours but they let you on the boat at around midnight while they carry on with the loading. There is not much on this boat as its primary function is a cargo ship that has a few cabins and is willing to take the odd stray onboard. Breakfast is at 7:30 - 8:00, Lunch 12:00 - 12:30 and dinner 17:00 - 17:30 after that you go hungry. Unless you like toast, then there is a toaster in the mess with a beautiful sign above it which reads 'only toast to be put in the toaster' I always wonder what else you could do with a toaster? turn it sideways and fry up some bacon?

There is a cupboard which opens once only at 12:00 - 12:15 where the chef doubles up as Mr Ben's shopkeeper, selling chocolate, shampoo, up to 6 small cans of beer, and 2 packets of cigarettes only. Once that highlight is out of the way its back to the cabin and another movie on the laptop.

Its quite a relaxing journey to be fair, no phone signal, no internet, nothing, just time to chill out, read books and watch films. However there is a limit to how much one can take of this. 

As we turned up the estuary to Brevik we were in quite heavy fog, but still we packed up our kit and awaited our arrival at the dock and the call to go to your vehicles. And then the boat stops, switches off its engines and just sits there like a spoilt child who has just folded his arms, stamped his feet and is frowning at you. 

After an hour or so past our scheduled arrival time of 10pm the captain comes down and explains to the 4 remaining passengers that the port wont let him dock because of the fog (and more health and safety nonsense) and that we will just sit here until 2am before we make a decision on where to go. Knowing I had a good 7 hour drive after this, I decided to get my head down for as long as I could.

3:20am I awoke, a bit confused but slowly waking up, I looked out of the window to see more fog, so I decided to go onto deck and see if we were about to dock or not. It was futile, I couldn't even see the end of the boat, never mind land. I then got out my iPad and opened the Tom Tom App. Obviously it couldn't find a road but there is a page on it that lets you 'browse on map' Well you should have heard the expletives that came out when the map placed the boat near Kristiansand in southern Norway.... heading back to Immingham in the UK!

So now I had another 41 hours to kill on the way home to where I started! Speaking with the captain later that day he informed me that the next boat would be leaving Immingham on Sunday morning and he could get me onto that one, or I could stay on this boat and get dropped off in Gothenburg. I chose the Sunday boat.

So we arrived back in Immingham on the Saturday morning at 3am had 24 hours to do nothing and then get back on the boat at 3am Sunday, do the whole trip again and finally arrive in Brevik, unscathed at 8am Monday morning and completed the 278 mile drive to Ulvik some 168 hours after leaving home, 129 of them on a cargo ship!

That has to be the longest trip I have ever done, but if you think that I left Morzine in France on the 19th April, drove to England, flew to Kos, flew back again, trained it up to Leicester and then started this trip... Its hardly surprising I slept well on the Tuesday night!

Wont be long now until I fire up the blog, see, I just don't have time in the winter... but summer is just around the corner :-)

Facebook is not playing nicely

Ok so this is my way round it... Facebook wont let me upload this video... HA! A short little ditty I put together... the people of Norway 2011 / 2012

The Hunt For Red October

Well the football is out of the way and so was the sun for a while, I think we had the tail end of the British summer typhoons here. Rain Rain and more Rain... which leads me nicely on to this next chapter.


It had been raining constantly for about three weeks, so bad and miserable was the weather, I couldn't be bothered to take the boat out at all. As I would drive to my hotels each day, a quick glance in the rear view mirrors would reveal Isabella's bright orange engine bobbing around in the water tied up to her quay. Driving in these conditions was much more preferable than untying the boat, bailing out the rain water, drying the seats and then spending a couple of minutes with the rain being blasted in my face as I zipped across the Fjord. No for now the car would have to do.


Ian (My product manager) had been hassling me to go and visit Eidfjord and the Vorringfossen Nature Centre, I can see his reasons, but the trip was selling well enough without my detailed knowledge of the place. I'd heard enough stories from clients who have been, to build up a mental picture and thus sell it on.


Still, it was something different, and a day out so I booked myself onto the trip. With the ferry leaving at 11:15 I had time to do my hotel visits before getting into civvi clothes ready for the off. As I drove away I did my usual backwards glance but there was no bright engine? I slowed the car down and looked back towards the quay, Isabella had gone!

Strange, maybe she had slipped her mooring and was drifting mid fjord, maybe the kind old gentleman who allows me to moor her there had moved her somewhere else. Who knows, I will investigate after my visits. One thing I was certain about, she hadn’t been stolen. Nobody steals in Norway and besides she is pretty unique, you would find it tricky getting away in a boat with a fluorescent Orange engine!

I made a few jokes with the boys at the hotel about the situation but curiosity was really getting the better of me by now and I just had to go and find out.

I parked up and walked the 10 metres or so to the edge of the quay, the first part of my investigation was to see if her mooring rope was still there or just a fraid piece left tied on.  As I looked over into the water the answer was pretty clear. There she was, still tied up albeit standing ‘bow up’ on the bottom of the fjord still tied on by the bow line! – Yes, she had sunk. I had underestimated how much rain we have really had, combine that with the constant battering of ‘wash waves’ from passing ships, she had obviously filled up with water and gloop, down she went.

I could just about make out the back of the seat miles in the distance floating its  way to Bergen.

I gave a tug on the bow line and to my surprise she rose to the top quite easily, but that’s as far as I could pull her. I needed to get her to the beach, I was never going to lift this weight straight up. After about an hour I had ‘walked’ her round to the rocky edge where I managed to tie her off. Fortunately for me the tide was in and high so I devised a plan, but it would mean getting wet.

With the bow secure, into the cold water I climbed, Seeing all the fuss the nice old gentleman had popped over and offered me a length of nylon rope with a grappling claw attached. I fixed that to the engine and secured the stern with all manor or ropes I could find. I undid her drain plug and that was that, I just had to let her hang there until the tide had gone out. My plan was that the water would drain out, I would replace the bung and float her once more. What had I got to lose now? With that done it was a quick change and off to Eidfjord for the day. I only just made the ferry.

She was in a very sorry state when I returned that evening but I managed to get her onto some sleepers / rail tracks that had been left to rot & rust for many years on the beach nearby. I stripped as much as I could from her, windscreen, fuel tank, paddles, seats etc until she was a mere shell again with a rather wet outboard on the back. Taking that off was never going to happen, its a complex job connecting the throttle and gears that have been modified to fit this 1963 Westbend as it is, and I figured I would need them attached if I had to test her.

Over the next week, I dried, cleaned and doused the engine with WD40, Talking constantly with my petrol head cousin Kyle on what to do and not to do. The most upsetting thing of it all was having to throw away 22L of petrol. The rest however was a challenge and fun too it has to be said.

I did some research and found out the Westbend 12.5hp engine was built for the US Marine Corp to power their inflatables into battle. Well are you telling me they never got wet before... na these things have got to be bullet proof. or at least waterproof. I soon had her back together and would you believe it, she fired up 3rd pull.

She took some more tweaking & cleaning and I treated her to a couple of new spark plugs from eBay. While she was out of the water I touched up her paintwork and re fitted all of the bits that had been bashed off against the quay. Only the windscreen is now more streamlined, a kind of race fairing if you will.

Using a bit of ingenuity when the tide was out, I swam down to the railway tracks and tied off a length of rope to each side, I then tied these to an empty plastic fuel can. My last piece of magic was to attach a 'bungee' cord to the can and a long length of rope to the shore, supported in the middle with a piece of floating foam sponge.

I can now motor towards the shore, grab the foam which in turn gives me the rope, hook the bungee to the back of the boat, pull myself to shore using the rope, tie off her bow line and let go. The bungee pulls her back out to sea. I even added a couple of 'knicker elastic' straps to the rails that can hook on either side of the boats paddle holders. Now she just sits there 'High or Low tide' safe from concrete walls, safe from boat wash, and hopefully safe from the sea bed.

When I need her, I just pull on the bow line and she comes in, I jump aboard, 'boing' out to the buoy, unhook her and away I go.. I know, I know... Bloody genius! I would agree, but what sort of genius lets his boat sink in the first place.. Muppet!

PS the black seats are only temporary until the white leatherette turns up in the post :-)

Eidfjord was good too, but for some reason my mind was on other things... sorry Ian, its still selling well though.

The Local Rooflawnmowers

Honestly, I'm enjoying myself

Today, I can finally say she is all fixed up an sea worthy once more.. and here is the video to prove it... enjoy

The general synopsis at 0600 UTC - Cyclonic 5 or 6, decreasing 4 at times.

I don't want to speak too soon, but the postal system here in Norway seems to have gotten a lot better this year, Mothers little food parcels are arriving within a couple of days, Izzys iPad came in 3 and my new coffee machine got here quicker than I did! Who knows how and why but lets no knock it. On that note, I'm trying to organise some rubber fendering for the boat, My best mate Wayne has found some from a company in Cambridgeshire but the fun and games he is having getting it to France is beyond a joke, Firstly I ordered a courier to collect it from their warehouse, when he turned up it wasn't ready (how long does it take to cut 9M of rubber) the 2nd attempt there was no label attached so he left again and the 3rd he was told it had already been dispatched! - I'll keep you posted if it ever turns up.

I need some fendering for Isabella as she is getting a little bashed up now, yesterday for instance, we experienced some crazy winds here in Ulvik, the drive over to the hotel was scary enough as she was flying out of the water at the crest of the wave and crashing down again as though I was riding a jet ski! After my hotel visits I noticed a ton of debris floating outside the green cafe, as I approached it turns out to be thousands of pounds worth of patio furniture that had blown into the fjord. I tried the best I could to rescue as much as possible but can you imagine trying to haul a chair with one hand whilst steering with the other and using your knee to control the throttle and your head the gears! - I guess some would see the funny side, especially with 3 foot waves chucking me around like a rag doll! Well after 5 chairs and a table safely ashore and the 6th chair falling back on top of me, smashing the windscreen, it was time to give up and go home! Even that was futile, the waves were crashing the boat against the quay so I decided to go back to the Brakanes Hotel and leave her there for the day. At least she could bob about in the open water until it all calmed down. And as if by magic the winds dropped and the water calmed just as the football finished, nice little ride home, even if Germany had just destroyed Greece.

I have discovered that the bar in the Ulvik hotel not only has the football on wide screen but I get staff prices too, meaning the beer is only twice the price of the UK and not 4X. It also has a better type of clientele even if they all support the 'other team' no matter who is playing.

Well thats about it for now, I'm preparing and looking forward to Sundays match against Italy, Who knows, we might make another stage of the game....

Gjør en annen mann en tjeneste

God Morgen

I guess since I have been back in Ulvik for three weeks now I should fire up the blog again. Everything has settled down nicely and the resort is ticking over well, Izzy has just turned 30 so we decided to throw a party on Saturday and invite her closest friends from Ulvik to come along. You could say it was my first proper Norwegian / Swedish party experience, one I won't forget in a hurry. What with Reidun and Ingrid serving Moet from their ample cleavages,

To George & Therese singing the National Anthem standing on one leg!

Young Trine and Max introducing us to some bizarre Swedish pop music and Vaiva's 'Interesting' birthday cake.... In true Norwegian style they bolted down the Vodka / Champagne / Cider & beer then shot off to the pub for a pint and 8 straws. Unfortunately for me it was a school night so I stayed back, cleaned up and crashed out.

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Isabella (the boat) is now perfect, some adjustments to the positioning of the fuel tank giving her a better weight distribution and able to 'plane' much more easily and some more tweaking to the engine, she now runs like a dream and I often 'go to work' in her. It takes me 20 minutes to walk to the hotel, 5 minutes to drive (from leaving the house to entering the hotel) and only 3 minutes by boat. My next door neighbor, Frode, has kindly let me moor her right outside my apartment on his moorings and both of my hotels have landing platforms to tie up to. Perfect.

So confident I was with her performance, I decided to take her for a long spin although I did bottle out at the T Junction to Osa & Bergen, I had enough fuel and she was running well, I just felt that if something did pack up, it would be a bloody long 'paddle' back as I was already 5 miles out! I think I'll stick to using her for 'work' use for now.

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Sunday 27th May and I get a bizarre phone call from the Brakanes, It turns out one of their clients was arriving by boat and had run out of fuel a couple of miles from the hotel and was drifting aimlessly down the Hardanger Fjord. Would I mind going to help them? Jumping at the chance to save another mariner I fired up all 12.5 horses under Isabella's bonnet and proceeded to cruise up the Fjord in search of the stricken vessel. I must admit, when I saw her I was a little concerned, she was a massive day boat with a 90HP engine and a family of 6 on board who had traveled from Bergen to Ulvik in this thing, only to run out of fuel 2 miles from port. As i approached they threw me their bow line and I hitched her up to my grab handles. It was a struggle for my tiny craft but within the hour I had successfully towed her into the harbor. Good deed done for the day but I was a little miffed by the fact they didn't even say thank you! - Googling 'salvage rights' technically their boat is now mine as they threw me the line..... I'll keep my eyes open if I ever see them again!

Oh well, in the words of our famous local poet, Olav H Hague, "Do another man a favor" It can't hurt

Isabella doing what she does best....

Isabella Unleashed

At first there was a trailer project.... then came....

The Boat Project

Having successfully retrieved Vacancier from her moorings in Annecy I was immediately faced with another problem, what am I going to do with her? I couldn't tow her home as I already had a trailer on the back, I was thinking of taking her to Norway but that would mean no trailer and also there isn't a great deal of wind there.

So I decided to have a rake around on eBay and see what was available for the little money I had left. At first I found a nice little 4 seater boat with 20hp engine and trailer but after negotiations with the owner I decided against it for two reasons, No1 was back to the trailer situation and No2 it went for £670 which was way out of my budget.

Eventually I found a 'project boat' in Biggleswade of all places. It had a trailer but it was so far gone it would be no use anyway. The beauty of this boat was its size, 9ft with only two seats. In my head I figured it would fit on my original trailer solving that problem at least, also for £250 I could collect it there and then all in with a 12.5hp West Bend Outboard.

I phoned Dad and off he went down to the marina to collect it. No sooner had he got it home he was on the case getting the paintwork done. I got back from France shortly after and the two of us set to work on getting her presentable. Colin Martin, a friend of dad's took the engine apart and gave her a good service, including some tricky engineering work on the gear shift mechanism.

Within the week she was almost finished and looking good too. We then stripped her down again and flipped her onto the trailer ready for Norway.

Initial tests in the water were fun but fraught with problems, Gavin had come up from Sweden to help out and soon discovered we had not undone the air intake for the fuel tank. This at least made the engine run constantly for a change. Further work was carried out on the spark plugs after we discovered lip balm is no substitute for grease. WD40 works much better! The HT Leads were re fitted and after some tweaking with some screw on the front of the engine she was flying across the Fjords in no time.

We are just waiting now for the rain to stop before venturing further aFjord....

Rocky Roads or Plain Sailing

I never know what I am allowed to say and not allowed to say these days, so I'll keep this blog 'non work related'

Wednesday was 'on a mission' day Up at 7am got the bus to my car park about a mile up the road, drove to Tignes to pick up Vicky, she is the boss of our ski school out here and speaks fluent french, something we needed on this mission. The plan was to collect my boat from its moorings at Dussard on lake Annecy. I say collect, more like liberate blag or steal the thing. Its been there for about 4 years and in the first two, a number of people sailed her. Dad was always coming to stay and the Judges enjoyed it so much they bought their own GP14. Nevertheless, after the crash and being stuck in the UK for the summer of 2010 and in Norway last summer, poor old Vacancier has been left to gather dust. A number of people have been to check on her and there she sits getting older and older. I had a feeling that the boat yard owners would not be too lenient towards me and may start demanding cash for her release. Hence why we took Vicky. She is not worth much (the boat not Vicky) and is going to cost me a fortune to get her home so the last thing we needed was a huge bill for the mooring. If the boat yard were to get stroppy then I would have just left her there and told them to scrap her.

We met Wayne and his little one in Moutiers and off we went on our mission. I had come up with plans to sail her away and lift the trailer over the barrier, or wait till someone went out and tailgated them, but for now we were just going to asses the situation and the lie of the land.

On arrival in Dussard, I went to the boat to see whats what while Vicky went in search of someone to practice her French upon, returning 2 minutes later saying "you are not going to believe this but" Ive just told the guy in the cabin that we want to take our boat away and he said yeah sure and opened the barrier!

I was feeling a little nervous at this point as I had to de rig her for the road, before someone changed their minds. Mast down and secure we hitched her up to the car and started to move away. Vicky went back to the shed to get the barrier up again when the guy says to her "if you are thinking of bringing her back again, you will have to go and settle your bill with the Marire" then he opened the barrier and we were away.

We stopped at the nearest garage and pumped up the tyre's, re checked the strapping and then it was off to Meribel where she sits today. Then it dawned on me... I had only planned to get a feel for how we were going to get her, not actually do it! Now I have to figure out plan B and get her home or somewhere, now she sits in an unprotected car park instead of a safe mooring, Now she needs a roadworthy trailer and not just any old thing to get her in and out of the water... Now she needs cleaning up. Could I tow her home? nope, I have a trailer on my car for that journey already... For once the French being really helpful has turned out not to be helpful at all.... Doh

If only there were some wind in Norway

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Ever get that feeling of Deja Vous.....

Ok Ok, I know its been a while since I left Norway and started my epic journey to Val d'Isere. To be fair, i've not had time for a day off, let alone any time to write this blog.... but, things are coming together now and i'll try whenever I can to update. Todays blog comes from an inspiration I had this week (yes its half term) and for anyone seriously following this blog, there is a section about the worst clients I ever had to deal with back in 2004.... well, 3 or 4 companies later, would you believe they are back with me once more... shush.. no one knows yet... but I certainly do! I'm not entirely sure they remember me just yet... but they will, trust me.

So while they are still here, I'll keep this one short and sweet...

Guides to being a good client

1) No we really don't need any more snow - Learn to ski on what you have, you are not God, just crap at what you do.
2) Chalet staff are on primarily on a gap year - they are not trained servants, don't treat them as such
3) Boarders are just as good as Skiers, just with less style and panache - deal with it.
4) the Buckles on your boots go on the outside
5) yes we get off at the top of the chair lift
6) When carrying your skis the tips go downwards
7) English money is no use to us, neither is champagne
8) Yes we know England had 3 inches of snow last week, we had 3 meters
9) No we don't want your copy of the Sun, who wants to know what propaganda they are spinning, we came here to get away from that - Bring Marmite
10) Your money, attitude and sense of importance matters not to us, we are doing a job that few would relish, 98% of us will never return, so do we care? (its ok, i'm in the 2%)

And before you insult or belittle us... remember, we have access to every toilet and every toothbrush...

Words from tiffany-carmon-more :)

BRB with some more next bad weather / no email / no Special High Intencity Training / day I get :)

Tusen takk for å ha meg Norge - se deg neste år

Can you believe it... its raining in Ulvik... Now there's a surprise! Well this is my last blog from Norway. The car is packed to the gunnels and i'm just hanging out waiting for tomorrow to arrive, Then its a 7 hour jaunt across the country to Brevik, even though its only 300 miles its like driving back and forth to Meribel from Moutiers, Twisty mountain roads that go on forever. This time however I will be doing it in the day instead of the murky sunset / sunrise of may. Weird how 5 months ago we had only 1 hour of darkness per night here and now its almost like Britain. I have to be at the port at least 5 hours before departure as the cargo ship i'm traveling on needs to load me before packing its decks with containers. 3am we are due to set sail and then I guess its 41 hours of chilling out in my cabin. Not much else to do surrounded by water for so long. Still, now I know what to expect, I have supplies, music and films with me to while away the hours.

I really am going to miss this place, Hopefully I will get posted back here again next year, who knows, i have the winter to get through yet. Still, new challenges every season, new faces, new beginnings, Its all life experience.

I can honestly say the Norwegians are among the nicest people I have ever met. Such a great way of life out here. For example, I took some unused tickets back to the station the other day, they just took them off me, said they would return them to head office and we would be credited for them... and so it was done. So easy. Can you imagine that in England... I never received them, what tickets? who are you? I want a receipt for them bla bla bla...They are of such a trusting nature, and it makes you the same way.

Well to all my new found friends over here, a thousand thanks for making this the most memorable season of my life, I will be back, I will miss you all, and look after the place in my absence.

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Shut your eyes and think of somewhere.....

Al though I have been a little quiet on here lately I must just say that its going to get quieter. My time in Norway is almost up and in less than a fortnight I will be back on that cargo ship to the UK. I was scheduled to be on the boat on the 16th September but with some jiggling and juggling it has now been put back to the 23rd dropping me in the lovely town of Immingham on the 25th.

For saying that we are slowly closing the operation down, the last couple of weeks have been manic. After the Judges trotted of up north in search of trolls, my folks descended on Voss of a long weekend. I think they enjoyed themselves, taking in Ulvik, Norway in a Nutshell and a day out in Bergen (yes it rained) to mention but a few. Izzy returned from Sweden stocked up with her mouth teabag nicotine thingy's... (I have no idea, so don't ask:) so normal service has been resumed once more. The 'Boys' from the Green Cafe have been fired for.... well what haven't they been fired for... late serving, underage serving, partying until way after Ulviks bedtime and generally being 20 year old's in charge of Ulviks most happening bar.

Needless to say the Friday night gatherings continued at the Red Cafe, with more of a 'relaxed' atmosphere. Even George is back on the scene! Adina has left Norway (Our woman in Loen) without even meeting me! Neil has packed and is ready for the off on Wednesday and I've just said goodbye to Rich who is off on Friday. Looks like i'll be the last one holding the flag of st George till the very end.

This is a first too.... last week my clients leaving Voss for Balestrand got out of the taxi during the ferry crossing, when it docked at Hella, the first port, they got off, not realizing the boat then carried on to Dragsvik. With the driver in Dragsvik and the passengers in Hella I get a phone call telling me what has happened.... Easily resolved but trying not to laugh was harder. They were so embarrassed when they passed back through Voss on Sunday. Good job we have a good communications network over here!

Well, I'm about to start packing up the flat and eventually loading the car, My plan is to move down to Ulvik for the last week as the Brakanes Hotel seem to be the only ones who want to feed me. Then a few days tidying up any loose ends before the off.

I'm sure I'll write some more before then but if not... see you on the other side.... i'm not looking forward to a couple of months in the UK but it will be cool to catch up with a few people too.....

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Så lenge Norge, dens blitt emosjonell, jeg elsker deg og ønsker å bo for alltid

Its been a while since my last blog, but then I have been a little busy, first of all, most of the clients this week have taken part in all of the activities and secondly I had a visit from my bestist buddies Sara, Tony and the Twins Callum & Ella... Hurricane Irene... Pah, nothing on those pair :)

The sun even poked its head out for a few minutes on Friday, enough to make the Osa Mountain trip enjoyable again, maybe the last time I go up there this year, who knows!. The evening cruise was more like crossing the channel in October, That was the first time Ive seen white water on the Fjords!

Sat in the Hotel garden on Friday evening watching the kids playing on the boats gave me a great idea, one that Dad will be holding his head in his hands and muttering "oh no not again" under his breath, when he reads this....

I fancy building a boat, not too sure yet whether to go for a Kayak / Canoe and somehow build a platform to hold an outboard or just get a crappy fiberglass hull and make a speedboat from it. Ebay seem to have a few 'old buckets' from a tenner so i'm still pondering that one. It need to have an engine so I can explore further AFjord and also small enough to go on/in/around the car and trailer. I figured if I come back here next year and I have all this water to play on (and no wind Dad, before you suggest one with sails) then what better toy to bring with me..... Ideas please :)

Time is running out in Norway now and things are starting to close, The Ulvik Hotel was the first to go and shut its doors on saturday. Folklore evenings are no more, Osa Mountain is no more, and even the nights are drawing in. (Yes I know, darkness in Norway!) Even Izzy has gone to Sweden...

I will certainly miss this place and all its quirkyness, I have some great new friends here now, but time wont stand still and my skiing muscles are starting to twitch... Lots of plans for the inter-season seeing as I didn't get one between winter and summer, although I think 6 - 8 weeks is too long, That said... I think I can now tell people what's happening this winter...

Inghams have offered me Resort Managers Position in Val D'Isere, I have accepted, contracts signed, bond paid, Job done. Think about it, No Pre Madonna Chefs to deal with, No drunken Chalet Girls oversleeping, No Chalets falling down or blowing up, No Maintenance men driving 2 hours to 'Look at the Job' and best of all... No pre season toilet scrubbing... Pure Bliss! ..... and a brand new resort to play in. That will be soooo weird having skied the 3 valleys for the last 9 winter seasons. Let hope i'm up to the job, Inghams are great to work for, I have thoroughly enjoyed it here (but then I think you have gathered that :)

All I have to do now is haul all of my stuff back through Scandinavia re-pack in Britain and drag it all to France again....

Barn's Boats & Beer

What a fantastic week, the weather has been great, well three days of sunshine so I guess thats the Norwegian summer over with. I've managed to pack in quite a bit this week, firstly I went to my first Folklore Evening... that was different!

I have booked the clients into 3 or 4 now but this week I decided to stay over in Ulvik for a couple of nights and this weeks event fell on a night I was there, to be fair, I only wanted to have a look at what it was all about so I could explain the event better to the clients, but once inside you can't just leave!

Anne-Marie the local school Marm' was hosting the show with half a dozen of her students, all dressed in the Norwegian National Costume, and dancing around in a barn! Before long we were all invited onto the dance floor to join in. like I said... Different!

The following morning was a trip up Osa mountain again, this time in sunshine too. Got some really great shots and ventured further into the wilderness... Truly stunning indeed.

That night I was aboard the Lady Anne for the evening cruise and then back to the girls pad for a pre party before descending on the Green Cafe once more for more debauchery and partying.

This time it was Karoline's leaving party and an even better turnout than before... I think we have started something now, the Cafe is becoming very popular on a Friday with all the young folk!.

Back to Voss this morning for some much needed sleep. Looks like I'm having some visitors in a week or two, so Norway just keeps getting better and better :)

Shame I only have about 6 weeks left....

06 August 2011 - Enige og troe, indtil Dovre falder

What is it with Norway this summer!!  I mean, before I came here, the last time anyone had heard from the Norwegians, some Viking ship had landed in Scotland... and within a month some nutter has bombed the capitol, shot up an island of school kids and now some mad arsed polar bear has gone round munching on some Brits up in the north!... Seriously, I had to look on a map when I got this job, just to see exactly where Norway was... Yeah we all know its in Scandinavia to the right of Britain somewhere, but to be fair I wasn't sure exactly where!

The Norwegians don't go around making much of a song and dance about anything, they just get on with their lives and live in peace. We see an occasional Norwegian emblem when the European cup starts but thats normally short lived, no disrespect, quite the opposite in fact, the Norwegians are a lovely bunch of people who, although are involved in the UN and other peace keeping forces, don't shout about it like the Americans or the British, hence we don't hear from them much. But over the last few weeks they seem to have been dominating the headlines.

I think it must be down to the demise of 'The News Of The World'.... With them gone, all the celeb's in Britain have been let off the hook and normal news is being reported instead. Whatever the reasoning, lets hope that the saying 'Things Always Come In Three's' is true and Norway has had its share of tragedy and bad luck for the next 100 years.

As the Norwegians would say "Enige og troe, indtil Dovre falder"  -  United until the mountains of Dovre crumble.

n

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03 August 2011 - Not Lost for Words, Lost for Time

Busy busy week this week, Just had 16 clients descend on me all at once, Smooth enough transfer day but with lost luggage and all, its been a long day...

I did manage to get a couple of 'Night Time' shots though.....

I'll be back blogging some more in a couple of days when it all settles down again... have some great news too...

Be back soon.....

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29 July 2011 - Come Fly With Me

Yet another fabulous weekend with some 'out of the blue' twists...  Firstly our man in Balestrand came to visit. Over coffee, Neil & I put the world to rights again on Friday, whilst chatting away I get a phone call from Rune, the chappy who owns our transport company here in Voss, offering me a chance to go flying with his son in an hour....

For a change it was a beautiful day and of course I jumped at the chance. Soon Rune had collected Neil & I and we were off to Voss airfield where the tiniest plane I had ever seen was sat in the Taxi lane. A two seater plane / glider combination, all very shiny indeed. Before the flight Rune & Olav were telling me how new the plane was, like 6 months old and costing 1.5 million (I reckon we are paying these taxi drivers way too much) even converted from Krone into pounds thats about 200K

 

With the pre flight checks done and a brief explanation of the dials and controls, Pedro and I were bumbling along the taxi rank to the end of the runway, Not quite what you see on Top Gear but I was assured it was long enough for this thing..... 

Some dial tapping and engine revving later we turned onto the strip and boom we were off.... within a few yards we had lift off and were soon making our way up into the blue..

Pedro had suggested we head towards the glacier  but as we climbed over the mountain range we could see a thick cloud hovering over it... 'Ah best not' says Pedro, 'I'm not qualified to fly in clouds' 

Talk about 'vote of confidence' here I am sat in an egg shell with barely enough room to move when the pilot says he's not that qualified! 

I do know a little about flying licenses so to be fair on him, I was not too worried. We decided to fly towards Ulvik instead, dropping in height to fly in the Fjords. If I thought Norway was a beautiful country before this, then it was an understatement... Once again, my breath was taken away with the scenery and this time it was all landscape.

As we neared the Brakanes hotel I'm shooting pictures like i'd just got a new camera.... I wanted to get a great ariel shot of the hotel but I was having trouble getting the angle as we flew over head...

'Put your camera out of the hole in the window' Pedro says just before banking the plane right over, so now i'm underneath with only the plastic canopy between me and the earth... I got the shot I wanted though

If that wasn't enough, Pedro then says 'do you want a picture of you?'   'Sure' I reply wondering how he will do this. He proceeds to take the camera and give me the controls of the plane... A joy stick between my knees 'Pull back to go up, forward to go down,  left etc etc...' Pedro kept the back end in check with the foot pedals but the rest was up to me... 

Don't be fooled by the happy smile... I was as nervous as hell at this point.. 

It was a bit twitchy and felt like we were on a rollercoaster but nevertheless I was flying a plane.  Pedro then decided to show me a few tricks that the thing could do, flying close to the ground to feel the bumps from the air pressure (which actually felt like we were running on the wheels) and to top it all off, he switches off the engine and we glide back towards Voss catching a few thermals on the way.

We had pretty much flown the route I drive to work in Ulvik and even came back the short way over the mountains and Solsoe lake... Much quicker than in the car thats for sure.

Way too soon it was all over and Voss airstrip came into sight....

Touchdown was as smooth as the take off  and so that was that... from a cuppa with Neil to buzz round the Fjords in a light aircraft. I know my days in Norway have been some of the best in my life but this one was surreal...

Well thats my 'Bucket List' a bit shorter at least...

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