I don't know if its luck, fate, sporn or just the sheer determination not to leave this planet too early. But either way, when I think back to some of the things that have happened around me it sometimes sends a chill down my spine and makes me wonder 'Why me'?
Cats have 9 lives and now i'm unsure how many I have I left... In Some of these stories I was really in no danger at all, albeit bloody close, and in some of the incidents, very lucky indeed, others just plain stupid.
Life One - Man & Machine not quite in Harmony
Some of the lads and I were camping at Ullesthorpe camp site in Lutterworth, Leicestershire. I had gone out on my motorcycle that evening to the shops for some supplies. On my way home I was chucking the bike around the twisty country lanes (I must point out that I was 17, a very inexperienced motorcyclist on L plates and riding around on a Honda 250 Superdream) it was a heavy bike for a young lad and I really had no idea how to ride it properly. As I vered around the last corner towards the campsite, a car was parked further up the road with his lights on main beam, I lost all sight and within nano seconds the bike had drifted off the road and onto the verge, its front wheel catching in the ditch creating a catapult effect from the back end and sending me flying towards the parked car. I remember skimming across the ground about two feet up as if it were in slow motion. Coming in to land I put my hands out, a natural defense mechanism, not thinking that at 9st and traveling at about 30mph would do much damage. Bang! my right wrist shattered and I bounced for another 100 meters or so before coming to rest in the ditch. It was at this point, gathering myself and thoughts together, I noticed an iron bar sticking out of the ground. It was at such an angle that another two feet of freefall would have seen me impaled upon it. My bike was trashed, my wrist smashed and my shiny new leathers scuffed up... I didn't think about the bar again for a while. Not really until I started combining these stories. I guess that was my first near death experience and all I was bothered about was the bike - my ex pride and joy, I was due to take my test on it in a couple of weeks and it was a mess.!
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Not much later on in life I had gone to visit some friends in Orleans just south of Paris, My Dad had a big Rover SD1 at the time and kindly leant it to us for the trip (Yes I had passed my test by now - and for the record, both my bike test and car test, first time, on the same day!)
There is some weird 'Karma' stuff with this story too...
I was speeding through the motorways of France and as we came to the Peage (Toll) I was instructed by a police officer to pull into the compound where I was charged for driving in excess of 129 MPH, this at the time carried an 'on the spot fine' of around £100 in French Franc's. Naturally I didn't have that kind of money on me so in his wisdom he locked me up in a cell and left me there for about 4 hours, confiscating my passport. After a while he let me out for a stroll and I got chatting to another English victim who had also been pulled over in his BMW 6 series. Understanding my plight the kind gentleman agreed to cash a cheque for me so I could be on my way. More Bureaucracy followed with exchange rates, paperwork and Breathalyzers but soon I was on my way once more...
Unfortunately I had missed my Ferry crossing from Zebruger.... or was it unfortunate?
As the Herald Of Free Enterprise pulled out of port it fell over onto its side and proceeded to sink killing over 400 of its passengers... As I sat in the local bar watching the reports unfold on TV the first of the survivors being pulled out of the water were brought in to warm up while waiting for the fleets of ambulances and rescue crews to arrive.... It was (obviously) a totally unprepared operation, the Belgium's had never had anything on this scale to deal with before.
Interestingly enough though, speaking to a lorry driver who was first out, his view was the ship was badly loaded, having all of the lorrys on one side and cars on the other. He did this trip every day and knew it couldn't sail like this. So he sat in his cab waiting to be re shuffled when the Boat set sail. Within minutes it was on its side as they naturally list as they sail out of the harbor, this time the list was in the same direction of the laden weight. The water pressure was so great it inverted his windscreen and as his doors were trapped with other lorries etc, he smashed his way out of the windscreen and in a stroke of luck some emergency lighting flickered and he saw a way out through the bow doors to safety.
Talking of bow doors, the official report stated that this was the reason it sank, but at 30 feet from the sea line this only helped with the speed in which it sank... the Portuguese dockers onboard responsible for the loading were no doubt whisked off to where they came from almost as quick as they arrived.
Does speeding kill? Maybe, but in this case it saved me!
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Life Three - Don't Let Them Grind You Down
Working on the building sites in my early years, I tended to take after my Dad when it came to common sense but although in most cases using your brain to save your legs worked, it was not always the way forward. Dad has fell through many a washing line whilst balanced on a plank that is resting on a wobbly fence one end and a 3 legged step ladder the other... Yes it saves time building (and paying for) proper scaffolding and over the years I bet he has saved thousands of pounds by it, but its daft stunts like this next one that (sometimes) make you realise why the boys at the 'Health & Safety' have a job....
Dad and I were laying a brick paving driveway with the help of a YTS lad, each edging brick had to be cut to shape using our 9" brick cutting grinder. There were hundreds of them to cut and as the day drew to a close we had almost finished. With one brick left to cut and a grind wheel so worn out it wouldn't cut your toe nails, I went to the van to replace it. We were completely out of the 9" blades and only had a 15" left - Now what would Dad do? nip into town to get some more? Come back tomorrow to finish the job? No, these were not words I could ever hear my Dad saying. But, me not having quite the brain power of him, my solution, in hindsight was not the best either.
I fitted the 15" blade to the machine, and to do this you have to remove the safety guard, You know those things that H&S men insist we have for no reason!!!
Ha, well, the first cut was ok, straight through the brick, wheel spinning inches from my face, torso and nether regions... But another lesson from Dad on 'Measure twice, cut once' was ignored and the brick was just a tad too big and needed a bit shaving off... Cutter now perpendicular to my legs skimming the brick, the added pressure snapped the blade on its axis and without a safety guard to send it off away from the operator it made a bee line for me, shattering as it hit bone and thankfully missed the YTS lad by inches.
I still shudder whenever I think of the consequences should it have come out while i was cutting the brick the other way...
35 stitches, 8 weeks off work and complete rehabilitation being taught how to walk again. I'm now the one telling the old man to stop being a prat and look after yourself up that ladder!
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Life Four - Bahamian Whoopsadaisy
If its fast, fun and involves water then you can guarantee Coops is all over it...
Having befriended the PM's son of the Bahamas, I was over there at every opportunity, I love that country almost as much as I love the mountains, I have spent 25 weeks there lapping up the beauty and luxury of the place and that includes the powerboats and Jet skis as much as the tranquil deserted beaches and relaxed nightlife.
Leslie had his own private island which on many occasion we would take pretty American girls to to impress, Swimming in Tuxedos, feeding sharks, and generally having a laugh. Leslie also had a couple of Jet Bikes which we would play on, and before long we got pretty confident on.
This time however I was staying at the Wyndams Ambassador Hotel, Stressed out with work, I had come away and checked my brain in at Heathrow for a rest. I couldn't or wouldn't even make a decision on what to eat or drink, letting the waiter boy make those decisions for mw. i was so tired I just crashed by the pool and soaked up the pampering of the staff.
I did however take the Jet Bike out every day for a little 'steam let off' time. Only these bikes were from a local guy trying to make a living letting kids have a go. I had soon convinced him I could handle one and he was cool about letting me go further out. So at about 4 every day I would book one for an hour and go play.
On the day in question there had been a storm out at sea and although the beach was in glorious sunshine the waves were crashing about like Hawaii. At first my little gadgie was a bit concerned about the weather but he soon let me take the bike out. Within a few minutes I was past Leslies island and heading out to sea. I was having the time of my life, racing at the waves, stood up, shoving the nose down at the crest and jumping from wave to wave, kind of surfing on a jet ski.
But in true Coops tradition, it was soon to go horribly wrong... I hit the 'Big One' a monster 15 foot wave coming straight at me, normally this would have been ok but I was going so quick I didn't push the nose down in time and soon I was airborne. The wave had quickly moved leaving me in mid air falling towards the Ocean in to the 15 foot trough the wave had left behind... Not the end of the world unless you have a ton of Jet ski above you traveling in the same direction.
As I hit the sea, the Jet Ski hit me, slicing my knee open and leaving me in a semi concious state... about 3 miles out to sea - in choppy conditions - in shark infested waters.... I could go on.
Fortunately the bikes are designed to circle round so you can get on again, mine did just that, knocking me on the head as it did, kind of waking me up I guess. With a lot of struggle I got back onto the side of it, plugged myself back in and limped to shore. Still dazed I was taken to hospital where I was stitched up and treated for concussion before being allowed to fly home - stood up most of the way too as I couldn't bend my plastered leg, sort of resting in an upright position on pillows from the cabin crew filling my seat.
At least I had an excuse not to go back to the stress of work, I left Cord Promotions shortly after that, the money was good but the stress of 18 hour days was way out of control
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Life Five - The Futures Not Bright, It's Explosive!
Having left Cord Promotions I moved up to Manchester to work for MMA and eventually Orange, After a brief time lodging with Bob, I had met Juliet and we got a place together in swanky Salford Quays. Although the surrounding areas were a bit questionable, our flat was lovely. That said, Mrs Big, the head of the Manchester Drug Cartel was arrested living upstairs and the next door neighbor torched her own car in the parking lot... still it was a nice place to live :)
On this particular weekend, Juliet and I had gone out for a meal and proceeded to get very drunk indeed, Our new town was fun and we had lots of exciting places to hang out in. Neither of us had lived in a city before now and this new experience needed captivating. We had planned to get up early on the Saturday morning and go shopping in Manchester to the Arndale centre. However when the alarms went off I was so hungover I decided not to accompany her. There were a few things thrown about and to be fair I was not in her good books. Off she stormed on her own into town, leaving me with a strong coffee to nurse the head.
Within a few minutes of her leaving the sound of 20 empty quarry trucks going by rattled the windows of the flat and almost shook my coffee off the table. This was shortly followed by thousands of sirens and eventually a call from Juliet saying that she couldn't get into Manchester as there had been some sort of incident.
That there had... the IRA had blown up the Arndale centre and as it was discovered the device was in the shop we were supposed to be going to!.... I often think of the consequences if we had not got drunk that night, we would have been, at the time, stood next to the bomb!
Another lesson learned.... Drinking can save your life as well as speeding, but I don't recommend either.
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Life Six - I Want To Be A Part Of It, New York, New York
Probably the biggest thing to happen in my lifetime in this world of ours but my story is not that of an interesting nature, I had been to NY a couple of times before and done all of the tourist attractions, this time however, I was not supposed to be there. I was so fed up with things in my life at the time, Lots had gone wrong and lots of those things I won't be putting on this blog. Lets just say that I was no longer with Juliet.
I had managed to get a couple of Tri band phones, and this was a new concept in those days, Phones that worked in America! I had also decided to take a couple of days off work and Fly out to New York for a mini break. - Problem was I had not booked the time off or even called my boss to let him know I was away. I kinda got the feeling that he didn't care where I was anyway, and as long as the job was being done he would be happy. I could answer the phone and no one would be any the wiser. In Fact, no one knew I was there, well, no one who knew me anyway. I was indeed stood on top of the twin towers the day before some nutter took a wrong turn in a plane!
I flew back to Britain that night and slipped into work undetected, The following morning (lunch time in the UK) it was all over the news, My stomach was in my mouth and the thought of it and what could have been. Daft thing was I couldn't tell anyone! I was not supposed to be there. God only knows what would have happened if they had struck with me on the top. I don't even think I had my passport on me at the time or any other ID for that matter...
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Life Seven - Mind That...
During my skiing time in Meribel I have broken, cut, bashed, dislodged most of my body in some way or other but the next two stories top them all... This one, like I said at the beginning, was nothing more than a near miss and one that I could quite possibly have never noticed if it wasn't for the poor girl following me.
I had taken a group out skiing the 3 valley challenge, or Escapade as the locals call it. A full on ski day covering 75 miles, all 3 valleys most peaks and troughs and everywhere in between. We were on the final run for home, skiing down the Boulevarde de Loze, a fairly flat roadway piste on the Salauire side of the mountain, It has a steep side to the left and a steep drop off to the right and is about a mile long, two of the guys were ahead of me, i'm in 3rd place and a girl by the name of Sarah tailing just behind me... It wasn't a race, that was just how we ended up. When we came to the next junction, the boys and I pulled up to re group, but Sarah was no where to be seen. It turns out a massive slab of snow/ice had avalanched off the mountain missing me by nano seconds, hitting Sarah full on, taking her over into the steep valley and burying her under a couple of meters of snow. Fortunately a lifty at the top of the six man was watching it all in his binoculars, radioed through to the guys at the top of the Loze who belted down and got her out before it was too late. All she suffered was shock. Nano Nano Nano seconds earlier and that could have been me and liftys don't train their binos on blokes!
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To be Continued..... This one will take some writing... but for now
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