29 July 2011 - Come Fly With Me

Yet another fabulous weekend with some 'out of the blue' twists...  Firstly our man in Balestrand came to visit. Over coffee, Neil & I put the world to rights again on Friday, whilst chatting away I get a phone call from Rune, the chappy who owns our transport company here in Voss, offering me a chance to go flying with his son in an hour....

For a change it was a beautiful day and of course I jumped at the chance. Soon Rune had collected Neil & I and we were off to Voss airfield where the tiniest plane I had ever seen was sat in the Taxi lane. A two seater plane / glider combination, all very shiny indeed. Before the flight Rune & Olav were telling me how new the plane was, like 6 months old and costing 1.5 million (I reckon we are paying these taxi drivers way too much) even converted from Krone into pounds thats about 200K

 

With the pre flight checks done and a brief explanation of the dials and controls, Pedro and I were bumbling along the taxi rank to the end of the runway, Not quite what you see on Top Gear but I was assured it was long enough for this thing..... 

Some dial tapping and engine revving later we turned onto the strip and boom we were off.... within a few yards we had lift off and were soon making our way up into the blue..

Pedro had suggested we head towards the glacier  but as we climbed over the mountain range we could see a thick cloud hovering over it... 'Ah best not' says Pedro, 'I'm not qualified to fly in clouds' 

Talk about 'vote of confidence' here I am sat in an egg shell with barely enough room to move when the pilot says he's not that qualified! 

I do know a little about flying licenses so to be fair on him, I was not too worried. We decided to fly towards Ulvik instead, dropping in height to fly in the Fjords. If I thought Norway was a beautiful country before this, then it was an understatement... Once again, my breath was taken away with the scenery and this time it was all landscape.

As we neared the Brakanes hotel I'm shooting pictures like i'd just got a new camera.... I wanted to get a great ariel shot of the hotel but I was having trouble getting the angle as we flew over head...

'Put your camera out of the hole in the window' Pedro says just before banking the plane right over, so now i'm underneath with only the plastic canopy between me and the earth... I got the shot I wanted though

If that wasn't enough, Pedro then says 'do you want a picture of you?'   'Sure' I reply wondering how he will do this. He proceeds to take the camera and give me the controls of the plane... A joy stick between my knees 'Pull back to go up, forward to go down,  left etc etc...' Pedro kept the back end in check with the foot pedals but the rest was up to me... 

Don't be fooled by the happy smile... I was as nervous as hell at this point.. 

It was a bit twitchy and felt like we were on a rollercoaster but nevertheless I was flying a plane.  Pedro then decided to show me a few tricks that the thing could do, flying close to the ground to feel the bumps from the air pressure (which actually felt like we were running on the wheels) and to top it all off, he switches off the engine and we glide back towards Voss catching a few thermals on the way.

We had pretty much flown the route I drive to work in Ulvik and even came back the short way over the mountains and Solsoe lake... Much quicker than in the car thats for sure.

Way too soon it was all over and Voss airstrip came into sight....

Touchdown was as smooth as the take off  and so that was that... from a cuppa with Neil to buzz round the Fjords in a light aircraft. I know my days in Norway have been some of the best in my life but this one was surreal...

Well thats my 'Bucket List' a bit shorter at least...

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28 July 2011 - Pondering about Poland

Finally a couple of days of sunshine here in Norway, to be honest I was beginning to think it would never happen! Time to put the camera to the test.

Oddly enough, all of the clients this week have either gone off walking or ventured out on the Nutshell tour, and as they were all in resort by 6pm yesterday, I have very little to do until Sunday. I decided this morning to take a trip up to the ski area of Voss by means of the cable car. It's only the 2nd time I have used my season pass for the lift system this summer, for obvious reasons too.

Quite busy at the top with many a paraglider launching themselves off the side of the mountain... I had one mission, to capture the same photograph as is in the Inghams brochure.. I think I got it, and to prove it I took one of the other car too..

There's one... There's another one...

As expected the views were spectacular but there wasn't far to wander (My own fault for wearing sandals I guess) so I just hung around the paragliding site for a while and watched a few launches before heading back down again.

I had an idea the other day, so when I got back to the gaff I did some research and I think it might be possible to drive home through 15 countries... I pumped some way points into google maps and to drive from here to Denmark, across to Sweden, up to Stockholm and across to Helsinki, down to Latvia, Estonia, Poland, Czech republic, and across to Holland, taking in Austria, Germany, Belgium and France too... Not forgetting a toe into Russia. I don't fancy taking the car in, but if i'm 60k from the border, its got to be done.... Might just be feasible... I'll come back to you on that one, need to check my finances first.

After all... it wouldn't be the maddest thing I've ever done....

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22 July 2011 Certainly A Day To Remember

What a week! ..... Well the good news is, i've not been shouted at yet but then it has been the weekend so I guess I'm still in the firing line, i'll keep you posted on that one.....

Since I last posted an awful lot has happened but then you will have seen that on the news, i'll come to that in a minute.... Firstly Rich came over on Wednesday and we had a quiet and chilled night in trying to watch 'The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button' Not what I was expecting, no sign of racing cars anywhere! And I think to be honest we were watching it on rewind??... very strange indeed. I say trying, we kept on pausing the film to chat and I'm sure we almost put the world to rights.

Thursday involved a trip to Ulvik, welcome meetings, wander walk etc then the fun started... we took out a kayak  and paddled across the Hardanger Fjord to a small island which was habited by goats (I'm not making this up honest) it was a glorious day and very surreal gliding across mirrored black water. I'm told the Fjord is 400+ metres deep hence its dark colour, our intention was to go for a swim. But as we neared the island the water became clearer and we could see the bottom....  Yuk, it was thick kelp entangled with all sorts of debris. We paddled around to the far side and found a beach, we also found a strip of, what looked like sand'. This seemed the ideal place for a dip with hardly any kelp to get in the way. It was at this point we heard some bells, and as we beached the kayak two billy goats came wandering up, bells rattling away as they got more and more curious.

They seemed to look happy so we left them to chew on the canoe as we waded out into the Fjord.. Bloody hell was it cold! before I had waded to waist deep my legs had gone numb! "sod this" says Rich and dives in, only to shoot out again like something out of thunderbirds. I had no choice now, you know when one person is wet you're gonna get splashed and that's even worse, so.. with breath held I too went under, I can see now why Rich shot out again.

Right, enough of this for a game of soldiers, back to shore, kit on and gone. It was quite pleasant drying out in the sun as we paddled back but I think we attracted the worlds supply of bugs, either that or the drying water was kicking in the paranoia.

Soon we were back at the Brakanes and went for lunch. The rest of the afternoon was spent chilling out with George the manager, a few games of pool,  dinner,  and then a rather large game of chess. The central green in Ulvik has a huge chess board in the middle and Rich is as competative at chess as he is with most things. I think I won 2 - 1 though :)

The following morning we actually made it down for breakfast, a first really as Rich is nocturnal at the best of times and for some reason I was awake at half 6! The weather was looking grim but we had decided we would take the car up to the top of Osa Mountain regardless, if nothing else it was something to do! Isabella, the receptionist from the Ulvik Hotel was on a late shift so she joined us on the jaunt too.

I must say it was a very different sight this time, and only a week after my last visit...

Almost all of the snow had gone but the lake still looked beautiful... watch this space, when we get a sunny day (hahaha) I'm going swimming in there :)

Even my iceberg was looking sorry for itself... needless to say we couldn't talk Rich into standing on it.

Back down the mountain we stopped in Osa for a coffee before heading back for dinner.

Sat in the bar afterwards we watched the shocking news unfold about Oslo... I don't want to write much on here as you will all have seen the news, lets just say we all felt terrible and it was made worse seeing the reaction from the Norwegians there. For ever and a day we will remember the twin towers as 9/11 and the London terrorist attacks as 7/7... But for me especially July 22nd from now on will mean more than just my Birthday.

I don't know if to carry on writing is appropriate, but I guess I will have to at some point.

After a few beers in the hotel bar we descended on the Green Cafe, we were joined bu the Brakanes posse along with Tone from the Strand, Unfortunately we had to leave Karoline on duty in Ulvik... well someone has to look after the place and as George was at the party, I guess she drew the short straw.

Talking of George, I have no idea what he was on that night but he was doing some very strange impressions indeed, before disappearing into the night. 

The playlist as ever got disrupted and I have no idea what we were listening to in the end.... after being fed a tequila sunrise by Niall, I didn't care anyway! I was not long left in this world and soon had to be shown the way home.

Even with the hangover I had a great night, hung out with some great new friends and let off some much needed steam... 

Saturday was quite chilled with Rich buying me a painting of some coffee cups from the local 'open all hours' 'we sell everything' shop in Ulvik before heading back to Voss to watch the end of Benjamin...

Thanks to all those who showed up for my party / soiree we must do it again sometime but preferably on a day not marred with sad news...

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19 July 2011 - I'll tell the Jokes Arthur

Probably my last blog until after the weekend as Rich and I are heading down to Ulvik tomorrow for a few days of Norwegian fun. The plan is to get some climbing ropes etc and scale something... quite what, i'm not too sure. But failing that, we still need to take the Kayaks out for a paddle. Either way it will be fun to get out and about and i'm sure there will be a good turnout on Friday at the Green Cafe.


I have been having fun with the camera this week but to be fair the weather has been awful so I'm a bit reluctant to put any pictures up here until I have some good ones. here are a couple I took while trying to be 'arty'

Yes that's a bottle of Voss water and at 45 NOK (£6) for 1/2 Litre I think the camera could be the least expensive bit if I were to take up professional photography here!


I do wonder sometimes if I'm the only person reading this, I have spent today writing my MSR (Mid Season Report) As always I included my humor in there, only to be told that 'its entertaining but it needs to be more serious' and the boss hasn't seen it yet... think i'm gonna be in trouble tomorrow.


I'll just keep my humor to this blog site, so drop me an email if you're reading this, otherwise it will be as much use as this weeks 'News Of The World'


I mean, what's wrong with writing in the report that its only rained 3 times since i've been here, all of may all of june and all of July! and that I want a company canoe not a car. I suppose the reference to the Hot women of Norway might have got them a bit flustered but i'm only telling it how it is.


I'm still waiting to hear the next installment of the stamp issue, the latest I sent must have confused her. I said that I was in Norway and couldn't buy any British stamps here and sending her an envelope with Norwegian stamps and a UK address would not work. I'm hoping she replies with 'don't you have anyone in the UK who could do this for you'? to which my answer will be 'YES YOU' Checkmate!


I did catch some news from the UK today and I cant believe the MP's questioning Rebekah Brooks didnt ask her the question we are all dying to know....... Why dont you cut your hair????


Ok, Catch you after the weekend (Technically Friday is the end of the week so, yeah, after the weekend :)

16 July 2011 - You bring the G&T

Yet another great weekend here in Norway (Yes I know, but my weekends are from Friday night to Sunday Morning) Firstly, the trip up to Osa mountain went better than I expected, every week we get a little higher and higher, basically until we run out of road because there is still snow about... This week however we made it to the very top......

and wow, what a sight. The big lake full of ice bergs, on top of a mountain! Quite a spectacular view indeed.

That was the first time I had stood on an iceberg

Even I was a bit concerned that it might tip up or break or something and I didn't fancy getting my new trainers wet, What I didn't bank on was 8 guests all wanting to take the picture... er like i'm stood on an iceberg with nothing on my feet!.... Hurry up and press the button!

The evening meal was proceeded with a cruise up the Hardanger Fjord aboard the Lady Anne, a cruise ship/boat owned by the Brakanes Hotel...

I'm not sure of the difference between a boat and a ship, other than you can put a boat on a ship but you cant put a ship on a boat!... As usual it rained all the way out and back, clearing up as we docked back at the hotel.

Later that evening, the Ulvik posse congregated upon the Green Cafe, Not a bad trendy pub / bar / sandwich shop run by Niall who is from...  'of all places' Coventry!

The music is of your own choice, basically go in and mess with the playlist and boom... The unfortunate thing is the posse is made up of all nationalities, Swedes, Chechnyan, Moroccan, Russian  and even the odd Norwegian,  so the music tastes did vary somewhat.. Ive not heard James Blunt followed by Metalica before. As it was Mikalea's leaving party there was a good turnout and was in full swing by 2.30am. Quite bizarre for the sleepy town of Ulvik to be in party mode.

Well Today my camera finally arrived (I know! only how long???) But it is all I was hoping for so this afternoon I've been doing my David Bailey bit and taking pictures of all sorts of rubbish around Voss, Expect to see some stunning photographs from now on as I get my head round the F2.8 1000/1 200isa waffle flange converter nonsense. Kelvin Media's Tech Support line has been inundated with emails and tex's this afternoon as I twist dials, press buttons and generally waste a lot of film... Oh wait!

See... I can do 'Depth Of Field'..... well it was in a field if that counts!

Now all I have to do is everything ive done in Norway 'Again' and this time photograph it!

... Expect some classic shots next weekend... and yes that will include Tequila :)

13 July 2011 Philatelists News from Scandinavia

What a day... and mainly one filled with good news! Firstly customs let my trainers through without any import tax... because they were a birthday present, which... Check this out....  they wanted to see my date of birth on my passport to prove I wasn't lying! I had to laugh, especially with the comment "ok sir we will let you have these, lets call it a birthday present from Norwegian customs"... gee thanks guys, I get to buy my own trainers and you let me keep them as a present from you...

And secondly, my provisional contract came through for the winter (still cant say anything but its exactly what I wanted) A very happy bunny indeed today!

Oh I must show you the emails regarding the stamp issue... Priceless!

Dear Rob,

We have just received your envelope in the post for your Food & Hygiene Certificate; unfortunately we are unable to send this as the envelope needs to be stamped. If you could please send an A4 stamped self addressed envelope and we will get these sent out to you.  Sorry for any inconvenience caused.

My apologies, I had my mother post you the envelope as I am currently in Norway,  she must have forgot to put the stamp on it, could you please send the envelope back to me and I will correct this error and return it to you with a stamp affixed. Many Thanks  

Thank you for your email You will need to send another A4 self addressed envelope with the correct postage cost attached, and we will get this sent out to you, This would be much appreciated.

No problem, I will send you another envelope this time with stamps on, Could you please still send my original envelope back, we both need to watch the pennies obviously

I wonder how long I can keep this going before someone sends her on a 'time management' course... surely its cost them more than 32p of her time to send these emails...

What's even funnier is that I know the guy who is in charge of distributing them and they are in PDF format on disk... she could just as easily attach it and send it with her next email... I guess that would need a training course though!

On another note though, someone had moved my stick I noticed as as I drove to Ulvik today... but don't worry, I put it back again... you never know, it might fall down one day and I don't want to be responsible for the collapse of the mountain and the road closures!

Right I'm off, busy day tomorrow and you never know... I might even have a new camera!

11 July 2011 - They're not all Trolls & Trogladites

This is something you wont find in England... Chatting to the lady at the post office in Oslo today, After going through all of the 'å speake til en operatør trykker på en' I finally got to speak to Anneth who had an absolutely hilarious take on the English language "how do you spell your name? I asked" A Alpha N November (I'm impressed at this point) N Norway E England T Tyne Bridge H Hotel.... Excellent! 


I explained my predicament regarding the camera to which she says "I will ring Customs personally for you, Do you have enough... how do I say in English, ... err... Electricity in your phone?".... I'm guessing she means Credit, but "yes love, I'm on the landline" 


5 minutes later she comes back on "Hij, I spoke with them personally but they have gone for sandwiches and are not back in country till tomorrow, but I smiled nicely at the phone and my friend he puts me to front of queue in the morning, may I call you when I come to work?" ... "yeah that would be great thanks" "My friend he say you no have a Norwegian ID number but its no problem, I gave him mine"... 


After that I didn't feel like shouting at them and calling the place a shambles, but rather sat back and smiled with a happy glow. I'm beginning to love the Norwegians once more.


Today I had some fantastic news about the winter and where I might be going - I cant say anything just yet as I'm sworn to silence until the final planning is done and the contracts are out... But its nice to know I'm still wanted. Lets just say I will love the job and the place I will be working.


I'm on a mission today too, to find an album by Matt Hires called 'Take me to the start' Its not available on iTunes UK but is available on iTunes USA - my account is UK and try as i might, I cant buy it! also its not available on any download site and GoMusic.Ru is off line today... anyone got any ideas?


On that note i'm off for an early night, Tomorrow I'm guiding some clients around the 'Norway In A Nutshell' tour.... Does that make me a 'Fjord Escort'?


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10 July 2011 Camera Shy

With all of the to'ing and fro'ing at the Citroen garage, it seems that the car is running ok once more, 4000NOK later and a new coil, the misfire has finally gone and she runs as smooth as the day I got her. Good job really, I don't remember much of the journey back from Bergen yesterday. Not for any other reason other than I was entranced in music by 'One Republic' I'm not too sure if they are a new band or just new to me. Mikaela from the Brakanes Hotel told me about them and I must say, I'm impressed with the sound.

Quite a straight froward transfer day today, 3 people flying out and 4 moving from Ulvik to Voss, Welcome meetings done by 3pm Dinner at Fleischers and now to settle down to watch Californication. Its such a pity to get easy days when its Sunday... there is nothing open here! today is normal Norwegian weather too, by that I mean Rain, so chill out time it has to be.

Tomorrow I start all over again with the battle of customs. I ordered a camera from eBay about a fortnight ago and its been sat in Oslo customs office ever since, they want my Norwegian ID before they will release it - Obviously not having one, they then asked for my drivers licence, but that was no use to them as it had the wrong address on it... well der yeah, its got my english address on it.. OK sir, send us your passport - but that has no address on it either, no but it has your photograph... AHHH so does my drivers licence, but why would you need my photo? you're in Oslo, i'm in Voss, you have no idea what I look like... How about you send me my bloody camera, i'll take a picture of myself with it and send it back?

Oh and here's one for you... We posted an addressed envelope out the other day so they could send me my Food Hygene certificate and today I get an email saying they can't send it to me because there were no stamps on the envelope. Ive just written back saying I would be happy to correct this error on my behalf if they can send the envelope back to me, i'll put a stamp on it.!!... It does make you wonder where they find these people really!

Post has to be the one thing that does wind me up about Norway, It takes forever to get stuff sent and god help you if customs get hold of it!

Oh well, I better make good use of this quiet time, I have 20 people coming on Wednesday so It will get busy again... I bet thats when my camera arrives... and I'm too busy to fetch it!

09 July 2011 - Bergen Boys Behaving Badly

Today is officially day off so a trip to Bergen last night seemed in order. As lovely as they are, Voss & Ulvik are still quiet little rural areas of Norway, and although I would be happy staying here forever its good to get out and hit the big city every now and then. Mission No1 was to get Richard back on track, Rich is our man in Bergen and despite being surrounded by gorgeous women, he is not a happy bunny at the moment. Simple really, Rich is a people person and needs people around him all the time, Bergen is in Norway - hence EXPENSIVE, put the two together and Boom, instant boredom. He has no mates (not by choice or because he is ugly or owt) but because going out in Bergen is just ridiculous. £11 a pint minimum. If you don't go out, you don't meet people - simples.

Neil, our man in Balestrand had decided to head to Bergen for a hair cut so it seemed only fair I head that way too... all 3 of us would go on a mandate and have hair cuts all round, typically in Top Gear fashion, I was late so they went on without me.

After the shearing it was off to McDonalds for an £9 big mac, and to get the free glasses on offer this week. Neil and I are looking for the most ridiculously priced thing in Norway, a little game of ours if you like. I think im winning with the standard drive in car wash, standard brush rollers and blow dryers, you know the kind of thing that costs between £3 and £7 in the UK or a couple of € in France... 400 NOK - i'll do the maths for you 400 / 8.16 = £49.02 that has got to be a winner and puts the £40 hair cut, £60 bottle of scotch, £12 pack of cigarettes into perspective...

Norway sure is an expensive place, but there are ways to enjoy it on the cheap... for example, people watching, after trawling for the cheapest bar to get the big lad a beer, just nurse it for the afternoon whilst sat in the sunshine watching the Bergen folk go by... Another game Neil & I were playing was timing the gap between hot women walking by... on average its 1.3 seconds and the longest period was 14 seconds. I'm not kidding, hot, gorgeous women are everywhere, I don't know where they find them, where they come from, but who cares, how can you be bored in this place Rich? I could sit there all day and just watch the world go by.

Soon it was time for the big man to head home and Rich & I to get ready for our 'Night Out' we have adopted the true Norwegian culture of the 'Pre Party' get hammered at home and then go out for 'one or two' ... although this process is kind of one sided with only Rich getting drunk, so we enlisted the help of his mate Steve from the UK, pop him up on Skype and the pair of daft buggers play 'Rock Paper Scissors' when the loser downs a shot or two of vodka.

I don't drink as a rule as some of you will know... but once in a while doesn't hurt does it? well kinda yeah. The last time I hit Bergen I had 2 shots of Vodka before hitting the pub... I say that loosely as I don't actually remember hitting the pub, but according to Rich I was asked to leave as the 2 shots of Vodka in my normally pure blood stream said boom and goodnight. As Rich was trying to explain to the doorman that I was ok really, I fell over in the bar. Not really helping his case and that was the end of a perfectly planned night out.

This week however, I let Rich do all the drinking and sipped slowly on some 3% beer that you would drown in before getting tipsy. soon it was 11.30 and time to go back to the infamous bar. Rich as always got carded, but when I asked the doorstaff if they wanted to see my ID they just laughed!

Within an hour or so the place was rocking with the same hot women that frequent the streets of Bergen during the day, only now dressed up to party... I cant explain the sights, you have to see it for yourself. Lets just say, you wont find that quality in London, let alone Wigston!

Rich has been telling me how he meets the 'Ladies' 'Busting some shapes' on the dance floor, so I was quite looking forward to seeing the master in action... only later does he tell me he wont dance alone! well that was that then, I dance like my dad at the best of times, and it seems that I cant even prop the bar up and look cool so there's no way im 'Busting some shapes' on the floor... Big fish, little fish, cardboard box, reverse the forklift is about all I know and even that looks crap!

With our two beers consumed and the clock hitting 1.30am we called it a night and zipped to the kebab shop for the munchies before heading home... yes folks, even the beautiful city of Bergen has its kebab shops and yes they are full of the faded flowers at the end of the night... within a couple of minutes two rather large Norwegian students had latched on to us and in their drunken state we told them we were film producers on location in Norway... what the hell, they wont remember in the morning. Sharp exit time and we are back in the comforts of Rich's pad, lights out. I think Rich is feeling a bit happier this morning, but still I don't think Norway is his cup of tea... Oh well Rich, stick it out for another couple of months. It will be snowing soon :)